yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
