Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
