I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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