she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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