The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
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It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
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I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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