Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
