told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
