I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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