im gay
i know
yea but for you.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
