I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize