Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
