his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Bring me that man meat
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
