you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
