I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
