I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
