I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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