So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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