he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize