i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
