You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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