i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
