Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
