I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
