I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
