woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
