He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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