when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
