Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
