She's JV to your varsity
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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