Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE