Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag

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  (480): The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag http://tfl.nu/fc0e
  Replies (134) Good night (1606) Bad night (5089)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?

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  (503): what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage? http://tfl.nu/3y3m
  Replies (35) Good night (880) Bad night (3539)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation

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  (570): His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation http://tfl.nu/j8xh
  Replies (4) Good night (870) Bad night (1968)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture

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  (913): I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture http://tfl.nu/ttvt
  Replies (46) Good night (721) Bad night (2998)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.

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  (231): i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister. http://tfl.nu/u6ro
  Replies (20) Good night (1118) Bad night (4826)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?

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  (251): if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me? http://tfl.nu/7eei
  Replies (26) Good night (7019) Bad night (864)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.

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  (270): Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy. http://tfl.nu/4et1
  Replies (11) Good night (1045) Bad night (3625)
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  (310): View more from California

  Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart

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  (310): Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart http://tfl.nu/wp92
  Replies (8) Good night (1199) Bad night (605)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.

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  (850): Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees. http://tfl.nu/qlcd
  Replies (2) Good night (1401) Bad night (550)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later

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  (319): Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later http://tfl.nu/ccad
  Replies (5) Good night (902) Bad night (665)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?

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  (832): So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid? http://tfl.nu/r78n
  Replies (3) Good night (543) Bad night (714)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  that happened

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  (508): Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing? (603): that happened http://tfl.nu/dxuy
  Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (512)
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  (845): View more from New York

  How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother

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  (845): How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother http://tfl.nu/c9gy
  Replies (13) Good night (675) Bad night (499)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want

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  (740): See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want http://tfl.nu/eckw
  Replies (7) Good night (925) Bad night (237)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.

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  (360): Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out. http://tfl.nu/frsu
  Replies (1) Good night (311) Bad night (196)

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