This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
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she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
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I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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