proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
