Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary. http://tfl.nu/udpd
  Replies (7) Good night (3831) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol. http://tfl.nu/kdb1
  Replies (21) Good night (1206) Bad night (8766)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm never eating chinese again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night. (215): i'm never eating chinese again. http://tfl.nu/0tg8
  Replies (11) Good night (875) Bad night (4448)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated? http://tfl.nu/6x14
  Replies (16) Good night (984) Bad night (3793)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Why are you speaking in third person?

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): Why are you speaking in third person? (1-902): Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore. http://tfl.nu/1fh5
  Replies (5) Good night (3350) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  3pm strippers are depressing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): 3pm strippers are depressing http://tfl.nu/w12t
  Replies (19) Good night (916) Bad night (1901)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes http://tfl.nu/y839
  Replies (3) Good night (1458) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit http://tfl.nu/iywm
  Replies (8) Good night (2813) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue http://tfl.nu/po5k
  Replies (3) Good night (569) Bad night (1493)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Dude. Her vagina is a blender.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): Dude. Her vagina is a blender. http://tfl.nu/0shv
  Replies (19) Good night (633) Bad night (1991)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  our poor poor cab driver

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight" (610): our poor poor cab driver http://tfl.nu/cgof
  Replies (7) Good night (1208) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens. http://tfl.nu/3z5p
  Replies (6) Good night (1369) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it. http://tfl.nu/xeu6
  Replies (4) Good night (976) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours. http://tfl.nu/ipen
  Replies (9) Good night (2651) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two. http://tfl.nu/8qvh
  Replies (3) Good night (623) Bad night (289)

Randomize