Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  put your butt on the phone this is a booty call

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  (916): put your butt on the phone this is a booty call http://tfl.nu/3vuo
  Replies (25) Good night (3084) Bad night (743)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.

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  (913): U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that. http://tfl.nu/wlf7
  Replies (4) Good night (770) Bad night (2098)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia

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  (416): i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia http://tfl.nu/2gcx
  Replies (48) Good night (670) Bad night (5971)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"

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  (337): Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop" http://tfl.nu/felz
  Replies (19) Good night (5124) Bad night (2458)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.

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  (989): i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today. http://tfl.nu/t5a7
  Replies (13) Good night (1072) Bad night (3888)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.

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  (703): fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it. http://tfl.nu/7sbn
  Replies (11) Good night (4557) Bad night (950)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.

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  (414): You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning. http://tfl.nu/dt9p
  Replies (9) Good night (5242) Bad night (596)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.

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  (703): You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist. http://tfl.nu/4hjw
  Replies (4) Good night (1014) Bad night (3834)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...

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  (613): His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat... http://tfl.nu/xzfb
  Replies (13) Good night (1046) Bad night (3248)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up

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  (304): You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up http://tfl.nu/adeo
  Replies (34) Good night (7642) Bad night (1202)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.

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  (970): But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips. http://tfl.nu/821r
  Replies (27) Good night (2876) Bad night (1459)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted

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  (512): I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted http://tfl.nu/8clw
  Replies (4) Good night (1016) Bad night (474)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.

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  (801): Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable. http://tfl.nu/oq9e
  Replies (4) Good night (458) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this

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  (602): My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this http://tfl.nu/kojj
  Replies (1) Good night (540) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.

  (1-818): View more from California

  Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.

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  (818): You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible. (1-818): Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins. http://tfl.nu/2adc
  Replies (2) Good night (749) Bad night (384)

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