Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.

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  (248): If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would. http://tfl.nu/psvg
  Replies (5) Good night (510) Bad night (872)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece

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  (781): You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece http://tfl.nu/uonr
  Replies (7) Good night (942) Bad night (2785)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it

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  (573): Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it http://tfl.nu/okq1
  Replies (5) Good night (991) Bad night (2996)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him

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  (954): My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him http://tfl.nu/f43y
  Replies (19) Good night (1502) Bad night (3181)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.

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  (240): We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/70u9
  Replies (3) Good night (2032) Bad night (952)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again

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  (571): you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again http://tfl.nu/ac3x
  Replies (5) Good night (3150) Bad night (1168)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.

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  (509): walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her. http://tfl.nu/knz9
  Replies (9) Good night (5767) Bad night (691)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.

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  (617): I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area. http://tfl.nu/k7xx
  Replies (4) Good night (1329) Bad night (1279)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.

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  (507): So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver. http://tfl.nu/b2sj
  Replies (3) Good night (1273) Bad night (671)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.

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  (513): Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in. http://tfl.nu/71lv
  Replies (2) Good night (964) Bad night (451)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single

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  (907): I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single http://tfl.nu/2snv
  Replies (3) Good night (415) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED

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  (586): I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED http://tfl.nu/w9fp
  Replies (10) Good night (846) Bad night (411)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.

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  (828): Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high. http://tfl.nu/spu2
  Replies (1) Good night (716) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I haven't been sober in 4 days.

  (1-224): View more from Illinois

  Then be sober

  (224): View more from Illinois

  No.

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  (224): I haven't been sober in 4 days. (1-224): Then be sober (224): No. http://tfl.nu/ylow
  Replies (2) Good night (1169) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.

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  (731): It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked. http://tfl.nu/thm4
  Replies (4) Good night (566) Bad night (167)

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