He disabled his match.com account in front of me
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
