quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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