Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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