Me too!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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