Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
