Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
