stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Randomize
