would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
