She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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