I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
