He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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