Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Randomize
