shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
