What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
