no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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