Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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