Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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