nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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