I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
