I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
