He told me they were just razor bumps!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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