Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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