Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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