I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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