Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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