This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize