it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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