Having a random hookup so left but love u
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize