no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
