So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?