Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier

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  (845): Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier http://tfl.nu/ue73
  Replies (33) Good night (671) Bad night (8338)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours

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  (615): Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours http://tfl.nu/h5ci
  Replies (10) Good night (4063) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how

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  (651): Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how http://tfl.nu/5k4d
  Replies (43) Good night (1335) Bad night (4205)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.

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  (301): Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on. http://tfl.nu/5vnb
  Replies (20) Good night (3708) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.

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  (901): She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A. http://tfl.nu/01sf
  Replies (43) Good night (1880) Bad night (5749)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.

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  (347): Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes. http://tfl.nu/qm7s
  Replies (12) Good night (2506) Bad night (1468)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..

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  (416): You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water.. http://tfl.nu/3ccr
  Replies (16) Good night (1311) Bad night (4195)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING

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  (780): let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING http://tfl.nu/vf6d
  Replies (7) Good night (2081) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!

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  (203): Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best! http://tfl.nu/yqk0
  Replies (3) Good night (1077) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.

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  (251): You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER. http://tfl.nu/1azh
  Replies (7) Good night (525) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?

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  (917): Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now? http://tfl.nu/50ap
  Replies (2) Good night (1256) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.

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  (802): You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars. (1-802): A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning. http://tfl.nu/iq00
  Replies (6) Good night (1794) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.

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  (316): If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple. http://tfl.nu/506q
  Replies (0) Good night (557) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.

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  (404): I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it. http://tfl.nu/ptib
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock

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  (914): I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock http://tfl.nu/lqr6
  Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (195)

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