At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
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Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
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But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Can you bring me the toilet please
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I would fuck him just for his dog