He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.