Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling

  (415): View more from California

  God, I love San Francisco.

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  (415): Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling (415): God, I love San Francisco. http://tfl.nu/z7fc
  Replies (27) Good night (3062) Bad night (521)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.

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  (312): Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face. http://tfl.nu/6ki2
  Replies (31) Good night (967) Bad night (1856)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail

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  (919): The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail http://tfl.nu/0pa7
  Replies (30) Good night (807) Bad night (6832)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.

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  (207): No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have. http://tfl.nu/1nc6
  Replies (51) Good night (1442) Bad night (3519)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.

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  (570): i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off. http://tfl.nu/1gub
  Replies (56) Good night (654) Bad night (5642)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)

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  (720): For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented) http://tfl.nu/wdah
  Replies (10) Good night (3294) Bad night (1426)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.

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  (219): He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot. http://tfl.nu/xkom
  Replies (4) Good night (2620) Bad night (1288)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had

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  (902): you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had http://tfl.nu/lpp3
  Replies (9) Good night (3363) Bad night (677)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.

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  (262): Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life. http://tfl.nu/enlv
  Replies (15) Good night (975) Bad night (3041)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night

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  (253): Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night http://tfl.nu/3m0v
  Replies (4) Good night (995) Bad night (854)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...

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  (215): Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge... http://tfl.nu/fr2q
  Replies (4) Good night (1306) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken

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  (914): I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken http://tfl.nu/q5lf
  Replies (5) Good night (710) Bad night (893)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this

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  (480): Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this http://tfl.nu/d987
  Replies (6) Good night (1285) Bad night (509)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

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  (401): I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE. http://tfl.nu/jvh7
  Replies (8) Good night (511) Bad night (1531)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.

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  (415): I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame. http://tfl.nu/5rwn
  Replies (1) Good night (730) Bad night (417)

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