It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I have tasted many bathrooms