Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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