He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
