they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
