Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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