my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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