alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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