But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
there is glitter all over my balls
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