Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize