But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
