Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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