just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
